The Ten Swiss Commandments

October 27, 2013, 5 Comments

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If God were Swiss, what would the Ten Commandments be? How would He decide? First,  He would have to discuss things with all His saints, as a Swiss Heaven would be a democracy not a kingdom. Then He would issue his decrees, only to have them put to the people in a referendum.

So the big question is, not just what would the Ten Swiss Commandments be, but which ones would pass the test? Here’s an irreverently light-hearted answer to that, starting with Commandment No 1 shown above:

Thou shalt always be on time.

Emmentaler cheese in Bern market2. Thou shalt make cheese holey

Grindelwald valley3. Thou shalt appreciate My natural splendour

sunday sign4. Thou shalt do nothing on Sunday

Tell & Helvetia5. Thou shalt honour thy father and thy mother

Swiss grenade (via Thou shalt not kill (but shalt sell lethal weapons instead)

Bern fence7. Thou shalt not take sides (but forever sit on the fence)

Tax forms8. Thou shalt not steal (except for hiding something from the taxman)

Landsgemeinde vote9. Thou shalt vote all the time on everything

euros10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house or wife (or his weak currency)

And when all that fails, just remember to do one thing:

keep calm and eat chocolate


5 Comments on "The Ten Swiss Commandments"

  1. Sally Sunday October 27th, 2013 at 04:57 PM · Reply

    Love it! But shouldn’t there be something about cleaning?

  2. Jeni Sunday October 27th, 2013 at 07:32 PM · Reply

    Sally, cleaning is being put to referendum but will pass and be added to the later laws.. Diccon, this really made me laugh and have put it on my FB page! Excellent work for Reformation Sunday! Jeni

  3. T Martin Lesh Monday November 4th, 2013 at 06:38 AM · Reply

    #11 Thou shalt make thy family proud and pursue the ‘ Grey Suit/Shadow ( banking & finance ) professions ..

    • Christophe Andrey Wednesday November 6th, 2013 at 10:39 PM · Reply

      You know strange Swiss people, Martin. Perhaps are you suffering from an overdose of Zurich or Geneva?

  4. Zaby Monday April 13th, 2015 at 01:05 AM · Reply

    Thou shalt never bother a neighbour and make yourself as inconspicuous as possible

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